Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
