Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
