My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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