i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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