yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
