i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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