Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
