You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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