I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
