I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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