saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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