i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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