goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Drake has all the answers
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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