Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize