Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
