brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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