You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I woke up under a house in Key West
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
