it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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