I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So vagazzling was a success
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
