ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
