it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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