I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
