the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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