I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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