All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
