If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
