I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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