Sry I called you an 8
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
