I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
