The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
