I think scott just propositioned me for sex
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ugly people sure do ruin things
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
