i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
