Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There's always time for handjobs
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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