she looked like the before picture.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
