Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
