I just cut my nipple shaving
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
FUCK WHALES
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
