i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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