Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
