dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
