How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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