What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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