Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
