I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
