Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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