i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
