am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize