She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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