woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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