By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
