I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
