So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
