Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
