I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize