I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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