I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
