Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This baby is an asshole
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
