I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
no, he came in my armpit
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
