Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
