you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
How external is "for external use only"?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
