it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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