I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
