belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
