i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
